This post is dedicated for autistic children and teenagers committing suicides.
I am sorry, I have never been a good child as you wanted me to be. I heard you and uncle David they were so worried about my future and my life. You have been a great father, for Martha and Jane. They have always given you a chance to be proud. Its not my fault dad that I am born autistic, I love you and mom. Mommy did support me at home and playground.
When we were 5 years old Jennifer and I first met at Sunset Park. She was looking so beautiful. Well I know that jenny and me are not going to have future and nor there’s going to be the next doctor in the house. Your patients might be feeling pity of your own child who cannot be diagnosed by any doctor in the world. This is how I had to live and this is how insignificantly I have to perish.
The school never accepted me dad. I was never a le to express myself. I wish you would understand. They don’t let me play basket ball or have lunch with Jennifer. Jennifer has a bad friend who beats me up in the recess. I hate this place. I would never go back to school unless to see Jenny. I am so in pain I can’t express Dad. It hurts even to write and my eyes don’t water and it hurts more. My life is as insignificant as weed, nobody wants it to be there and lives as a parasite…all its life.
There are choices we have to take. And sometimes to end is the answer. For things may look irrational at your end, you might be thinking, I shouldn’t have done it, there might be a way round but past five years I’ve struggled trying all of it and none of it works. I have no regrets Dad, except for one that you didn’t teach me that we are living in a BIg Bad World! And anything that happens here other than normal ways is either suppressed or eliminated. Please teach that to Martha and Jane.
Please ask Mommy not to cry, I might come home again, hopefully this time the way they wanted. Please preserve my paintings, It had a lot to express, if , you ever had observed any…
Please accept your children the way they are.They may not be as bright as you wished or as lively as you wanted them to be. Every child is a mystery in itself. A book of codes and clean pages. For what you treat it will create the future of your country